I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to look up my birth mother.
This seems to drive people INSANE.
My mother’s most recent obsession is her ancestry.com membership. She added me as a ‘leaf’ or whatever bizarre buzzword for ‘human being’ that ancestry uses. How anyone would ever be connected to me on a website knowing just my name and my adoptive parents is beyond me, it was a closed adoption. I now fear that my mother will try to collect either blood or saliva from me while I am indisposed to satiate her sudden and intrinsic need to seek out blood tribes.
But I digress.
I’ve never had the curiosity or any sort of urge to find my ‘family’. I have my family, none of them related by blood, some not even by law. They’re pretty fucking cool, not to brag.
Ever the pragmatist, I’ve always operated under the assumption that if someone decided not to have an abortion in Connecticut in 1986, they were likely poor, religious, or both. Not making a judgement, those just tend to be the pro life demographics. It gets tiresome having people say stupid shit like “What if she’s exactly like you? What if she’s rich and you inherit millions?” (Y’all need to take a brief seminar in estate law.)
What is this automatic assumption that it would go well? I lack the required tact to even break the ice with a complete stranger whose womb I majestically rose from, like a phoenix from the snatch. Like “Hey, gene donor (I mean, I have a mom…), thanks for not aborting me. That was pretty cool of you. Not what I would do but bully for you!”
I am 28 years old. Legally, for over a decade now, if either of my parents wanted to establish communication with me, they could’ve. I don’t imagine someone out there pining to know me, cursing the gods for their lack of a way to know how my life turned out. Shit is on record. I’m just saying that if I were to have a kid (HAHAHAHAHAHA!) that I didn’t want (AAAAHAHAHAHAHA! STOP! I’M GONNA PEE!) and put them up for adoption that involves surrendering any and all parental rights, I’d just want to move forward with my life. And if thats a genetic predisposition, then it just seems like a good idea to leave well enough alone, now doesn’t it?