Take a Picture, It’ll Last Longer

I don’t understand, among the myriad of other ridiculous things for which my generation is unduly criticized,  why there is so much hatred for people taking so many selfies and other photos with their devices.  Like first of all, of course we’re the first group of people to do this on the regular.  Camera phones didn’t saturate the market until maybe 10 years ago, if you want to be really charitable.

(more…)

Read More

Foibles & Follicles

I will always and forever find it incredibly absurd how political hair is (Spoiler alert: I find most things absurd. Absurd is the word. Shout out to my boy Camus).

Nothing bothers me quite like someone being like “I’m looking for the redhead of my dreams”.  Like, what, you’re just going to ignore someone who might be the love of your life over what amounts to a $20 box of pharmacy hair color? I mean its one thing to find something visually pleasing, its quite another to commodify people in that fashion. Especially in the time of whatever happens on Tinder. I’ll let y’all know when I actually swipe right (well, it happened once. I got a match. I opened with a dick joke and was met with silence. Still convinced its not me, just everyone else).

(more…)

Read More

Writing by Gaslight

One of the obstacles I constantly have to overcome with my writing is the obstructive idea that my truth is somehow skewed. Its a pervasive notion that someone else’s recollection of my life and my experiences is more valid than my own, that my feelings are invalid and my experiences ‘didn’t really happen.’ It is incredibly numbing to have openness met with dismissal, disbelief, and accusation.

As I’m sure many people can attest to, it is a mental flinch that is not uncommon, and not solely an internet phenomenon.

(more…)

Read More

Tuesdays with Morrowind

I feel like I have enough obligatory structure in my weekly social calendar that when I have an honest to god free afternoon, it is time to game.  There is no such thing as not having plans.  There is only Fallout time, and Not Fallout time (replace this with any of the following: Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Rockband, probably more I’m forgetting about because backward compatibility is rolling out at the speed of sloth coitus, and I am a busy woman.)

I shudder to incur the wrath of its name based on SEO alone, never mind the Beetlejuice nature of the term, compounded with how fucking lazy it is to just add the word ‘gate’ to the end of a random word to denote some sort of scandal, but here we go…

(more…)

Read More

Parenthetical Temporal Décor

I would apologize for the unintentional, inexplicable hiatus, but the only people who read this I talk to semi regularly so lets just not. (Also lets not pretend there is an inherent mystery here.  Fallout 4 was released in November.  Go on, solve that puzzle.)

First, can we just all agree that January 2016 is best remembered as a bizarre fever dream? Seriously, what a shit show. I feel like Death went on a bender and took my sanity along with them. Like who the fuck opened a cursed tomb? (Looking at you, white dude archeologists.)

(more…)

Read More

The Minutiae of Alternate Realities

One of the more casual pastimes shared by the shadowy queer cabal I’ve come to consider my friends is group fantasizing for wholly unrealistic, dare I say impossible (I dare not, for sanity’s sake) futures in which we somehow have accumulated power without being born into or blackmailing our way into it.  Oh but were we androgynous and lithe, with enough fortune to be in the right D.C. bar men’s room at the right time…

To call a spade a spade, we have lofty plans for when I, and I alone, become the lone benevolent dictator of Earth. I’m convinced it is the only way we will ever join the Federation, which exists in this reality so shut the hell up. YOU CANT TAKE COMMAND, SON. So in addition to setting up the requisite Starfleet institutions, and straying from a cash/commodity based economy in the perfectly planned out, no obvious loopholes or issues Roddenberry system, please, allow me to share with you some of the strange and wonderful things my incorruptible, absolute power would do for the world: (more…)

Read More

Ignorance Is A Long Fucking To-Do List

The latest chapter in the ongoing saga of “I probably have adult onset ADHD but I’m just going to ignore it because what copay money? What long history of side effects with medication?”:

I should really write in my blog. Ha!

I would like to finish reading a book. Not that one, or that one, or that one. Maybe that one. I also want to start the one about butt pirates. (No seriously. This one.)

(more…)

Read More

Lifestyles Of The Perpetually Damaged

I was cheated on by the first person I ever dated.

I don’t presume to be alone in this, but its a shitty place to start your adolescent life when your first foray into socially sanctioned sexual development ends with the first person outside of your family to say ‘I love you’ walking the local mall with someone else who is wearing your shirt. It was not subtle. Retrospectively its a stupidly obvious situation. It was 1998. We met outside of the local Hot Topic. And lets be real, I was 12, he was 15, and whatever was behind door number two was giving him the business. Tale as old as time. I’d rather be left minus one shirt than coerced into shit I wasn’t about. Oh well.  We’ll always have Ozzfest?

I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like to start off differently. To have had a relationship that tapered, or dissolved easily, without a bunch of lies and bullshit and missing KoRn inspired Adidas gear (IT WAS 1998 STEP OFF). To start off with an arguably healthy template of interpersonal romance. Would it have even made a difference? Adolescence is a shitshow for everyone. Being dumped wasn’t exactly a cakewalk later on either, so maybe my current state was unavoidable either way. And a part of me thinks an early introduction to assholes was probably the biggest favor universal chaos has ever done for me.

(more…)

Read More

Keeping it 100 Percent, Pure Love

From the back to the middle and around again, I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous semi annual editorals about us crazy snake people and our dating habits. Even if the idea of “hook up culture” was a new phenomenon (Spoiler alert: Hippies. Spoiler alert spoiler alert: The fucking jazz age? See also: Human history) is it really such a terrible idea to road test? The most finite resource we have is time and theres nothing worse than spending time on people who only end up wasting it. And keep in mind not everyone does this, but I hate to see an arguably “different” approach get thrown under the bus like we’re having some sort of renters only, under employed, selfie entrenched bacchanal over here in our market segment.

(more…)

Read More